What is love? Help me friends!

Topic started by Lonely (@ on Thu Nov 29 08:00:20 .
All times in EST +10:30 for IST.

What is love actually? How do you know when you actually fall in love? And how do you know that the person you love, is in love with you too? I met SN 6 years ago. We were studying at the same secondary school but at different classes. When I first saw him then, I thought that he was a real nerd. He wore big glasses and he always had his nose on the book. You know, the typical nerd you see in highschools. I didn’t bother about him nor did he shown any interest on me. That was all about our first year.

2nd year- We never talked either. But he knew that I exist then. Don’t ask me how he know that…but he did. As for me, I still thought that he was a nerd.

3rd year- I heard news about him occasionally from my friends. Nothing special…only that he was a good student and was always praised by his teachers. Nerd. Nerd. Nerd.

4th year- This is the period that I ACTUALLY NOTICED HIM. He passed his 3rd year examination with flying colours and he went to the science stream. I was just an average student and so, I went into Arts. But there was something new about him this year. He stopped wearing glasses and was into contact lenses. I found out that he got a very good sense of humour….he acted in a school play that year and he was excellent! I found him to be really interesting. And for the first time, I noticed that he got good looks. He was no hunk, but he has a pleasant face…something that I’m very fond of. He was tall and well built too..something which I’m fond of too. I realised that I was admiring him.

5th year- I got kinda crazy over him. But no one knew about it. I was afraid that he would somehow know about my feelings if I ever tell it out to my friends. And I was afraid to know the results of that. I noticed everything about him. His style, the way he eats, talks, walks…everything, but still…no one knew about it. I dreamed of him day and night, and I was determined to do well in my final year examination…just a hope…that if both of us got married one day, he doesn’t have to be shy of having a dumb wife! I was sincerely crazy about him. Maybe because I was so crazy, at times I would feel as if he was getting interested at me too. I even noticed him looking at me continuously when I was walking pass his class. And needless to say that after the incident, I dreamed of him in my sleep again. My ex-best friend (a girl…let’s name her “U”) was in the same class as SN. But I never knew that they were close until the class photograph day. Every student are required to attend the class photograph day and snap a picture with the students of their respective classes. Since SN and U were in the same class, naturally they have to be together. Nothing unusual about that…I was waiting to take picture with my classmates when suddenly I noticed U doing the tie…for SN. You know, something that you can see wives doing for their husbands. They were so close together…almost like they were about to kiss each other. She was laughing and he looked kinda shy. Then he turned to my direction and without much of a glance, he turned back at U. I don’t even know if he noticed me staring at them. I was hurt. Really hurt. I cried the whole night about the incident. My ex-best friend with the guy I liked…God, help me… I forgot about the world then. I forgot about SN, U…everything. I started to concentrate in my studies. And I passed with flying colours. My mom was really proud of me. I don’t know how she would feel if she knew that I studied hard because of SN.

6th year- I went to a new school to do my A-levels. I was determined to be a new person here. From the quiet, shy person, I changed into a jovial and brave girl. I was everyone’s sweet girl. My teachers and friends just love me here. I was leading a happy life…or so I thought…until I saw SN again. He was studying in a different school but we were in the same tution centre. I never thought I would see him again…but I did. Was this what destiny is about? I don’t know. When I first saw him, I was shocked but I quickly hid my feelings before anyone could notice them. He walked in front of me and just gave a glance at me before continuing his walk…a sign that he noticed me. The nightmare was back again. I couldn’t sleep at night. He was there, disturbing me even without meaning to. One day after my tution class was over, I took the bus home. He and his friends took the same bus too. I was excited since I knew that we had to get down at the same station. When we reached the station, I got down first. I had to wait for another bus to go home so that means that I have to wait at the bus station again. It was thrilling. I waited to see him getting down. He and his friends finally got down. While his friends were walking away from the station, he simply stood there... it was then I knew that he wasn’t going to go anywhere. He came to stand beside me and my heartbeat doubled the usual pounding. I was waiting for him to talk to me…so afraid to hear his words that I didn’t even dare to look at his face…to find out if he was looking at me or not. My bus finally arrived but still, he never utter a word. With a heavy heart, I walked to the bus and yet, he didn’t make any move to call or talk to me…sigh…

Tell me friends, am I in love? Will a person who is in love act like me? And is SN in love with me? I’m confused…frustrated. Is there any way that I can find out about his true feeling about me without actually telling him mine?


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